“Macaroni and cheese…I love macaroni and cheese. I was raised on macaroni and cheese. Hey…nothing gets in between me and macaroni and cheese.” Part 3
Alright. First off for all you purists, Daniel is a good kid with a lot of flaws.
But let’s face it, he’s got a big mouth, and he doesn’t know when to quit. Mr. Miyagi had his work cut out for him. I’m gonna have some fucking fun and break this shit down movie by movie. I love all 3 movies, but it really was like Daniel had his memory erased at the beginning of every movie and Miyagi had to start from scratch.
THE KARATE KID
Ok…let’s get into it. You would think I would start with the beach party, but let’s start with him moving in to his apt. and kicking the fence door open.
Freddy- Hey, what was that, Karate?
Daniel- Oh yeah.
He already fucked up. By the way, does anyone else notice that Freddy’s shirt has a pic of 2 pigs fucking and it says “Makin’ Bacon?” So now at some point he’s gonna have to fucking prove those awesome karate skills.
Now onto the beach. Dude…Ally was hot. But come on, Daniels only been in town for 24 hours, and knew her for 5 minutes. 2 Exes fighting. Looks like baggage to me. Time to move on. In 30 seconds Johnny already proved he can kick his ass…well. But scrawney little Daniel had to show Freddy and the gang that he’s a kung fu master. Throws his little punch and holds out his hand to shake (why do good guys always do that shit?) Johnny is now obligated to put his ass down. Daniel doesn’t even know any of these guys. He imposes on a world he knows nothing about. Butt out kid.
I’m gonna skip getting tossed down the hill thrown off his bike. That was pretty fucked up. But that should’ve told Daniel, that these guys don’t care if they kill him. Let’s go to the Halloween dance. Daniel coulda just chilled with Ally and had a good time. But no…He has to feel like a man. Come on…he poured a water hose on Johnny in the shitter while he was rolling a joint. That’s fucked up. Daniel pretty much set himself up for the ultimate beating. If Miyagi didn’t step in, they would’ve killed him.
Ok…the challenge has been set, and Daniel is in training. First off he’s whining like a little bitch when Miyagi puts him to work. Even if Miyagi welched on the deal, Daniel would’ve at least been in great shape, and maybe would’ve had a fighting chance. In addition to that, knowing that Kobra Kai is not allowed to touch him, he eggs them on and tests those waters, pissing them off more. Come on Daniel…You’re gonna have to step in the ring with them. It’s like pissing off a bull, then someone says “ok get in the ring with the bull.”
I’ll give him cred on this. During the tournament he kept his mouth shut, and did his thing. But by then…it’s too late. He’s done so much damage pissing off Johnny and the gang that these cats are all fired up. By the way, Johnny wasn’t the scariest to me. Dutch scared me more. Dutch wanted to kill Daniel, and didn’t give a fuck. Something told me Dutch was a better fighter than Johnny. By the end of the movie, Daniel learned a lot from Miyagi, and becomes a better person…or so we thought.
THE KARATE KID PART II
I’m gonna make this a little more brief. Right in the beginning, his awesome car is totaled and he’s been dumped by Ally. The only thing they had in common was they both hated Johnny anyway. All that shit he went through in the first movie was for nothing. Now, they’re both in Okinawa. Sato’s nephew right out of the gate makes it clear he doesn’t like Daniel. Daniel insults his honor. The nephew threatens to kill him. KILL. What does Daniel say? “I got to go talk to him.” Come on dude. Just mind your own business.
Then later he takes his girl to a bar. She clearly warns him it’s a bad place. Oh before that, he has to stand in the window and watch his enemy train. Just like he did with Johnny in the first one. Back to the bar. As he watches these guys try to break the blocks of ice, he’s talking shit. Telling his girl what they’re doing wrong. Naturally, he’s gonna piss someone off. If Miyagi wasn’t there to talk him through it, he woulda blew it.
All that asian culture he absorbed, and all the new lessons he learned, you would think he would go into the 3rd movie graduating from student to teacher. Nope.
THE KARATE KID PART III
Here we go again. Beginning of the movie, and again he lost his girl. Damn dude…Aren’t you seeing the pattern? Apparently he’s forgotten all the life lessons Miyagi has taught him. For some reason, Daniel was running around the whole movie like he was on crack. Hyper as hell, and wouldn’t stop for 2 seconds to breathe. You know…the shit that Miyagi already taught his ass 2 movies ago. So…the writer of the 3rd movie said “fuck giving him a girlfriend. That’s clearly not working out. Let’s just make them friends.” Right out of the gate, he wants to fight in the tournament. He already knows Miyagi’s thoughts on that, and if he woulda paid attention woulda learned that Miyagi’s right.
If he would’ve told Miyagi about Mike Barnes, I’m sure he would’ve had his buddies back. Instead he goes to Terry Silva, who’s teaching him the complete opposite of what Miyagi taught him. That should’ve been a red flag there. But Daniel goes along with it, resulting in him breaking some dudes nose at a shitty club (by the way was Val Kilmers lab partner in Real Genius.)
The movie ends with Daniel winning of course. But because of the previous movies we as an audience can’t take comfort in thinking Daniel finally gets it. We know Miyagi is gonna have to start all over again. Which is why he said “fuck it. Maybe I’ll have better luck with Hilary Swank.”
That was fun…it’s an under rated trilogy. Ralph Macchio does an amazing job playing a complexed kid, that really is torn between Miyagi’s teaching and fighting that teenage rebellious angst we’ve all had. Which is why I’m sure Miyagi was always so patient and caring. I’m sure he done that dance at Daniel’s age. Truth be told, it was quite possible that Daniel would’ve ended up like Johnny and the gang if he had the wrong teacher. Full of violence and angst, and looking to bully. So in the end…with all his flaws and failed relationships, he became a better person with a loyal friend.
– G.R.E.E.N.B.A.N.K. (VHS generation)
MORBID MOVIE MEMOIRS: VHS GENERATION 